The UNEXPRESSED feelings

TODAY, I was engaged in a conversation with a friend of mine and suddenly I started feeling aggravated…… then I put a full stop to the conversation and sat aside thinking and analysing  the reason of a sudden mood swing.

After analyzing my state of mind, I came to know that there were thousands of feelings and thoughts which were bumping my head and the inability to express them cause the exasperation that I felt.

Because of my love failure I developed a digging spot deep inside my heart where I used to dig all the feelings and emotions which have any connection with LOVE and FANTASY ….This is the thing which happens to you when you have a heart which is nothing but shattered, which is smashed by someone whom you used to trust blindly.

BUT I didn’t realized that when that digging spot become soo enormous that it gulped down all my emotions and made me an inexpressive, insolent and a highly introvert person whose only love was spending time alone.

And the IRONY was, I used to think that this kind of an attitude is helping me to be a stronger person but it made me weak and helpless day by day. I was standing nowhere in the area of emotions and feelings, I was a totally a BLANK person, I started feeling a hole in my heart , I was loosing all the relations which I had….. and all of this was happening by nothing but just because of this particular attitude which had become a habit for me, difficult to leave.

BUT IT WAS DIFFICULT NOT IMPOSSIBLE. So by the very moment I decided to change it, to improve myself, to regain my relations and the process is still in continuation…….IMG_20170605_152447_694

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THE born FIGHTER

THIS IS THE STORY OF A GIRL….A GIRL, holding her ambitions in her eyes walked out of her building to show the world her dreams, her passion, her strength, her capabilities.

   SHE WAS YOUNG 

SHE WAS BOLD

          SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL

                                                SHE WAS FEARLESS                                         

My-work-as-a-coffee-artist-5892ed099419a__880THAT DAY, She was all set to show a miraculous performance with her boosting confidence. She had fantasies in her world of imagination.

SHE WAS DRESSED IN BROWN

HOLDING AN INVISIBLE CROWN

SHE WAS DARK BUT,

HER FEATURES WERE SHARP.

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 She was walking towards her goal ,to give her parents a new reason to proud on her. SUDDENLY,

“A MAN CAME WITH UNNECESSARY DESIRE,

HOLDING A BOTTLE OF LIQUID WHICH WAS NOT LESS THAN FIRE.”

HE CAME TO PUNISH HER , TO PUNISH HER FOR THE INDEPENDENT DECISSIONS SHE MADE IN HER LIFE, YES IN HER LIFE…TO PUNISH HER BECAUSE SHE REJECTED HIM…TO PUNISH HER BECAUSE SHE FOLLOWED HER CHOICE.

HE THREW ACID ON HER.

SHE SHOUTED

SHE CRIED

SHE STRUGGLED

BUT SHE WAS DEPRIVED

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SHE WAS DEPRIVED, DEPRIVED in the eyes of society as SHE WAS NOW AN ACID ATTACK VICTIM, no one helped her , no one supported her.

BUT EVERYONE WAS READY TO TURN THEIR FACES, EVERYONE WAS READY TO CALL HER UGLY. Because now, Continue reading “THE born FIGHTER”

The SINKING ship

She was lying on her bed…yes ON HER BED because she was getting used to of it just day by day. The starting days were difficult to pass specially when one doesn’t know about what’s happening . But as the days passed, the environment started to become familiar for her as she was also getting an idea about the happenings that took place from last few weeks. There was everything in her room that she loved , her little polar bear  without whom she would probably feel insomnia, her ipod with her favorite jams, photo frames hanging on the wall reflecting the cheerful and glorious days she had, in one of the frame she was standing on the shore of a beach with her friends with a sparkling smile on her face…it was like the sunny day was brightening her heart and her hairs were dancing in that gleeful and breezy environment. she used to stare at those frames and wished to have a time machine and travel to that time…she missed her long hairs.  BUT “THE TIME IS LIKE A BUTTERFLY WHICH FLIES BEFORE YOU CAN CATCH IT”.

SUDDENLY, the nurse came into her room and the time arrived which she hated the most…..THE TIME FOR HER CHEMOTHERAPY …yes CHEMOTHERAPY basically defined as a type of hell for all those unfortunate CANCER patients who lost their beautiful hairs and suffers a lot of pain …the level of pain that we can’t even imagine …without any guarantee of life.. . BUT for STELLA, the beautiful 16 year old girl, it was more painful to loose her blonde, heavy and lengthy hairs . she looked like nothing but just as Rapunzel when she open her hairs. It was a nostalgic moment to watch her going for chemo with her face felled down, her cheerful eyes which always used to hold a spark were now holding little drops of tears in them which rolled down on her cheeks. I was standing outside her room watching her moving towards the therapy room. she was walking like a zombie and I felt a stroke in my heart. My strength was tested enough till then and I walked out of the hospital.

When I got in again, I saw a totally different person in front of me …there was a sudden thunder in my heart and my throat was choked , I was unable to speak even a single word. I rushed out of the room and burst into tears after five minutes of struggle I attained some strength and looked inside  the room through the small glass window on the door.

SHE was lying on her bed…. motionless.. the glowing face was faded with the harsh treatment.. the sparkling eyes were swelled because of crying…. the smiling lips were all mum…and THE HAIRS….THERE WERE NO HAIR ON HER SCALP.

It was like a nightmare for me…it was soo devastating for me that I can’t even think about the situation which she will face after waking up.. how will she handle it? The question was continuously breaking me down.

She waked up , but didn’t reacted. everybody was staring her at her but somehow she knows that she has to suffer..that day, she was looking soo mature..she was standing tall in that situation..“SHE WAS FIGHTING…SHE WAS A FIGHTER”.

And now TODAY, SHE IS EXCITED TO CELEBRATE HER 18th birthday…YES she won…she won the fight..she showed the courage..she is brave..”SHE LOOKED STRAIGHT IN THE EYES OF CHALLENGE”..SHE IS STELLA

This is the story of Stella and many cancer patients who fighted and are still fighting because “THE ONE WHO FIGHT, IS THE ONE WHO WINS”…IMG_20170603_142238_752

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The power of HOPE

‘HOPE’, the word which gives strength when one is loosing it’s ground ,the ray of optimism in the most pessimism situation , the reason to get up and experience life again , the power of mind and soul.

When arduous situations forces you to fall down , when you get startled and  feel that the  night will gulp you, when you feel that all the doors are shut down for you then ALWAYS REMEMBER , there is no situation which has no solution , there is always a sunny day waiting for you after a dark horrifying night to embrace you with it’s glory and there is always a door which is open for you, called the DOOR OF HOPE.

SO, NEVER LOOSE THE HOPE AS, “THE HOPE HAS THE POWER TO PUT A LIFE IN A CORPSE”

 

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Continue reading “The power of HOPE”

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